“Oh goody, a reappearance of Hot Pants Lovecraft’s infallible ‘I will keep talking about things even as I am being eaten’ ending!” — On H.P. Lovecraft and predictability.
“I shouldn’t of had curly fries.” — On curly fries.
“Having sex with a condom is like picking up dog shit with a plastic bag.” — On using protection.
“MLP is like a penis: Keep it to yourself and don’t shove it down other people’s throats” — On My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
“I always thought of myself as a fatter version of myself.” — On self-image.
“I know the black kids could turn into polar bears because I saw one of them do it.” — On black people.
“My understanding of computer technology and jargon can best be summed up as “good noise” and “bad noise” — On the computer sciences.
“Please. You can find twice as much pokemon porn as pony porn on the internet.” — On cartoon pornography.
“And while they’re turning him into a machine they could make his dick even bigger and more powerful, as was stated in his will.” — Part II on former 35th American president, John F. Kennedy.
“As we all know, in Russia, the only thing more common than lies and dead bodies in snowdrifts has gotta be radiation.” — On the Dyatlov Pass incident.