Wisdom from the Bog

"Oh goody, a reappearance of Hot Pants Lovecraft’s infallible ‘I will keep talking about..."

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:20:41 -0500

““Oh goody, a reappearance of Hot Pants Lovecraft’s infallible ‘I will keep talking about things even as I am being eaten’ ending!””

- On H.P. Lovecraft and predictability.

"I shouldn’t of had curly fries."

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:18:57 -0500

““I shouldn’t of had curly fries.””

- On curly fries.

"Having sex with a condom is like picking up dog shit with a plastic bag."

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 20:45:32 -0400

““Having sex with a condom is like picking up dog shit with a plastic bag.””

- On using protection.

"MLP is like a penis: Keep it to yourself and don’t shove it down other people’s throats"

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 21:51:52 -0400

““MLP is like a penis: Keep it to yourself and don’t shove it down other people’s throats””

- On My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

"I always thought of myself as a fatter version of myself."

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 21:45:19 -0400

““I always thought of myself as a fatter version of myself.””

- On self-image.

"I know the black kids could turn into polar bears because I saw one of them do it."

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 21:40:51 -0400

““I know the black kids could turn into polar bears because I saw one of them do it.””

- On black people.

"My understanding of computer technology and jargon can best be summed up as “good noise”..."

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:44:00 -0400

““My understanding of computer technology and jargon can best be summed up as “good noise” and “bad noise”“”

- On the computer sciences.

"Please. You can find twice as much pokemon porn as pony porn on the internet."

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 19:35:24 -0400

““Please. You can find twice as much pokemon porn as pony porn on the internet.””

- On cartoon pornography.

"And while they’re turning him into a machine they could make his dick even bigger and more..."

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 00:09:00 -0400

““And while they’re turning him into a machine they could make his dick even bigger and more powerful, as was stated in his will.””

- Part II on former 35th American president, John F. Kennedy.

"As we all know, in Russia, the only thing more common than lies and dead bodies in snowdrifts has..."

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 00:07:00 -0400

““As we all know, in Russia, the only thing more common than lies and dead bodies in snowdrifts has gotta be radiation.””

- On the Dyatlov Pass incident.

"I’ve always said he should have been reborn as a robot monstrosity."

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 21:56:12 -0400

““I’ve always said he should have been reborn as a robot monstrosity.””

- On former 35th American President, John F. Kennedy.

"I start off every morning eating a face."

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:59:47 -0400

“I start off every morning eating a face.”

- On eating a healthy breakfast.

"I am going to make you into a soup."

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 16:58:18 -0400

“I am going to make you into a soup.”

- On how to deal with people who don’t like Batman.

"90% of people who play elves only do so because of how badly they want to bone them."

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:07:06 -0400

“90% of people who play elves only do so because of how badly they want to bone them.”

- On playing as elves.

"Philosophy is like potato chips, most people have their own favorite flavor, but some just..."

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:00:18 -0400

“Philosophy is like potato chips, most people have their own favorite flavor, but some just don’t like them at all.”

- On philosophy.

"I mean, he threw her dog off a bridge; that’s manly as fuck."

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:48:00 -0400

“I mean, he threw her dog off a bridge; that’s manly as fuck.”

- On being manly.

"Augh! Grenades! You dick! Dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks!"

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:44:22 -0400

“Augh! Grenades! You dick! Dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks!”

- On grenades.

"D-Reamer has gotta be one of the more questionable screen-names I’ve ever heard."

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:40:23 -0400

“D-Reamer has gotta be one of the more questionable screen-names I’ve ever heard.”

- On screen-names.

"Every time I see a tattoo like that, I wonder why the person bearing it hasn’t killed..."

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 19:32:00 -0400

“Every time I see a tattoo like that, I wonder why the person bearing it hasn’t killed themselves.”

- On awful tattoos.

"I am going to blame this on exposure to radiation."

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 19:27:16 -0400

“I am going to blame this on exposure to radiation.”

- On taking responsibility.